Lady Alone…

dog

This week I am alone. No big deal, right? A lot of  people are alone a lot of the time.

Not me, though. I have been ensconced in family life for what feels like forever.

Not so long ago, I couldn’t eat a meal without a baby crying or a toddler tantruming. I certainly couldn’t have a shower in peace. There was a time I thought I’d never sleep again or talk to my friends again.

Those years have whizzed by in a blur of noise, squabbles, children’s parties, school and food fads.  There was the time small boy had a  seizure, then big boy had a collapsed lung. The panics, dramas and joys all intertwined in that soap opera known as family life.

I’ve worried, fretted and aged in an attempt to keep the show on the road, keep the troops happy – or at the very least, not too traumatised…

But things change. Kids grow up and move on and our parental job description changes.

‘ Cheer them on-do their weekend laundry and provide a safe haven as and when required. ‘

Happily, I’m not yet at the point of waving them goodbye and wallpapering my empty nest. But I am getting a taster of what it might feel like…

It all started with big boy getting a job. Having finished school, he’s spending the summer washing pots to earn some money for college. So that’s big boy gone. Hostage to the dirty pot producing public. I miss him- big time, but couldn’t be more proud.

And now Ger, medium and pre-teen are off for five days. Pre-teen is doing a computer course in Cork and needs family on side to cheer him on, make his sandwiches and collect him at 3.30.

Which leaves moi and the dogs.  Alone. Holding the metaphorical fort.

So how does it feel?

On the plus side:

It’s nice and peaceful.

If I clean something up- it stays clean. 

Mealtimes are infinitely simpler. 

Wash up is infinitely simpler. 

Laundry is infinitely simpler

I can breathe freely (The house is free of deodorants, bodyspray, hairspray and perfume)

Interestingly, whilst day one in ‘alone city‘ had a bit of a holiday feeling, day two is a somewhat more sombre and restrained affair. Whilst there are no squabbles or raised voices, neither is there any silliness, no laughs, no hugs. Even the dogs look a bit subdued.

That old truism;

‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ is kicking in.

Big boy has rang to check in with me five times (fall over in surprise!)

The times I have begged him to send a simple, ‘I am OK,’ text when he’s out and about. Now he’s making actual unprompted calls to see if I am OK!!

Medium and pre-teen have texted multiple messages of love and smiley faces- (aww sweet, eh?)

It transpires that they miss me, and I miss them.

And what about all those things I constantly moan about? i.e chemical sprays choking me, people dirtying things up the minute I clean them, hormones (theirs not mine, of course!) endless scheduling requests.

I’d be lying if I said they don’t matter a toss- just give me back my babies.

They do matter a bit- but not that much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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44 thoughts on “Lady Alone…

  1. Haha, yes. So much yes. I’m still in the glow of back-to-school mornings, where once I’ve taken them, I walk the dog and feed the cats and shower leisurely, with no one following me, filling my head with tidbits, eating as I please, cooking for ONE. So nice. But when I come home later, I will be glad for the company, and the hugs and kisses, and people following me around, filling my head with tidbits. 🙂
    Enjoy the silence. Depeche Mode even 😉 lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love this….I have every age bracket in my house. 6 children from 6 years old – 22. The 22 year old has flown the nest and my 19 year old is gone often with school and social activities. I find as they get older I enjoy their company in a different kind of way I wasn’t expecting. It’s so fun just hanging out with my young adults. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my, Melissa- you have a busy house! It’s lovely that relationships between parents and children grow over time. I’m looking forward to a time when my teens find me less of an embarrassment to them!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been an empty nester for several years now. Your post reminded me of how much families are connected, even when they aren’t all living in the same home anymore. The texts I look forward to now are pictures of my new grandson and my not-so-new granddaughters (ages 7 and 11), but I have to admit that I enjoy those texts (and sometimes emails) as much because of my children (sons) who send them as I do for the look at my grandchildren. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A lady alone. In a lonely cottage on a windswept hillside in a forgotten Kerry valley…Sounds like the start of a horror film. Directed by young Joe perhaps? The bad guys? Leprechauns! NAZI leprechauns! You’ll be swept!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No worries, John. The resident ghosts would see off any marauders in a flash! Plus, I have a German Shepherd (albeit, one who is soft as butter, liable to shower a marauder with kisses!) She really looks the part, though.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Alone has its merits, no doubt about it, but there was a reason we had babies, and it wasn’t so we could be alone! lol

    I hope they’re all home soon with extra “I’ve missed you, mom!” hugs. 🙂

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  7. I feel your pain 😦 . I have been there. I must say, I have become now quite used to the ‘alone’ phase, at first I battled, but as the ‘alone’ time progressed I got used to it (that being as well with hubby travelling quite a lot) Now, I miss my daughter if I don’t see her for a day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, yes my daughter is 24 still at home but probably she will start her own life soon and leave my home – I’m wondering about taking a dog. I even asked my cat if he wanted a dog 😉 but he said nothing – which, I suppose, means that decision is mine ;-P
    All in all, I’m a little bit frightened of that silence you wrote about…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think we’re all the same. The silence is a bit daunting-but I like to think the kids will come home often and visit. In the meantime- a dog is a great idea! My two follow me everywhere!

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    1. He left school this June and is working in a hotel for the Summer. The hours are crazy so we don’t see much of him. I do find I am missing him alot. Even though he’s 19, he’s a great hugger!

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  9. Yes – it’s lovely to have a ‘break’ and enjoy it while it lasts as they’ll all come tumbling back very soon with their ‘little’ pile of dirty washing… and for me 2 gorgeous granddaughters to ‘fill the empty nest’ once more.. x

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m taking a break too, after a fashion. In hospital, the break being in my lower back, though not as bad as it sounds. I’m also getting my pancreas, kidneys, and bowels checked out. My car passed its pre-NCT this week but I’d need a new chassis if I were a car. Unfortunately, full body transplants aren’t available yet so I’ll have to make do with repairs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A consultant told me it was costed at 80 million euros during the last boom, and 50 million euros after the crash. It’s the Bons by the way, not a bad hospital apart from the WORST COFFEE IN THE WORLD! There, I’ve got that off my chest…

      Liked by 1 person

  11. This is so beautiful. Your post depicts the mixed feelings experienced by parents when their offspring are finding their way out of the nest. I am glad that they are concerned and responsible enough to reach out and know how your are coping without them. I guess it’s all part of the lifecycle and we just have to get used to it one way or the other.

    Liked by 1 person

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